Be Careful What You Wish For
Be careful what you wish for
Is what they say
But they say it for a reason.
With every achievement, comes added expectation. With every promotion, greater responsibility. With every relationship, additional baggage. Every dream, plans.
When we get what we want, we have to face ourselves. All of the demons come out, because who you really are is brought to the surface. Instead of being able to put off thinking about “what if,” and “when,” the moment is there. It’s here. It’s now. The time is now.
What you want is what you’re either not giving yourself, what you’ve decided you need, or for some reason or another, have decided to attach meaning to. If I make 6 figures, I’ll be worthy of love. If I lose 20 pounds, I’ll be worthy of respect. If I find a lover, I’ll be happy. If I run a marathon, I’ll be able to feel accomplished.
All of these desires are attachments. Attachments to something greater, something deeper, which is what we actually need.
But what we need isn’t derived from accomplishing that goal or cutting that check.
It’s a truth that comes from within.
A need filled by your own cup.
Projecting your fears and insecurities below the surface of a goal or achievement is only going to keep you further away from it. Instead of getting to the root, you’re just piling more dirt on the surface.
A few days ago, I had the chance to start a new relationship, that was everything I thought I wanted: he was kind, sweet, smart, intelligent, caring. Most of all, he liked and appreciated who I was. He saw me, when I couldn’t see myself.
What I quickly realized was that this was not the relationship I wanted. I started craving solitude, space, separation. I felt overwhelmed by the attention because he was showing me the respect I wasn’t giving myself.
He was giving me the time I wasn’t giving to myself.
He was showing up for me in ways I wasn’t showing up for myself.
It didn’t feel good and it didn’t make me happy. Instead, I actually felt stifled.
I realized that I needed to give myself the things I think I need a relationship to give me. This was my call to action. I didn’t need to swipe. I needed to STOP and give myself that care.
Be careful what you wish for.
It might just come true.
Instead of wishing, instead of wanting, try doing. Try being. Try embodying.