On Mental Health (30 + Fearless Part 6)
This past week was a blur. I'm not quite sure where anything started or began. Only thing I do know is that for several days now I've been debating of sharing what's been going on. Why this week seems like I was spun too hard on the merry go round.
I finally came to my decision while trying to prepare for this installment. I said I would share my highs and lows. Showing the struggles that can be part of any lifestyle. This would be a chronicle of a journey of taking myself to the brink. How could I keep this private? Which many times I tend to elect to do so.
Here it is the truth: I'm bipolar. Please don't go running for the hills since people suffering with a mental illness, especially with bipolar, have had their reputations tarnished by recent events. For years now, I've had a strict regime that I've created for myself with the help of doctors, medications, friends/family, and fitness. I'm a stable individual. One thing with this disorder that needs to be explained is that even with doing everything to the T, you can still be thrown into a cycle.
Leaving me at times manic and other times depressed. No one is immune to having a mental illness. It can be genetic, traumatic events, injuries, and so much more. We learn more and more about the human brain constantly.
The badass MMA fighters we all watch and who seem almost superhuman suffer even if for a moment. Ms. Rousey, someone iconic and no one would ever dear say is weak, admitted to
suicidal thoughts post-Holm loss. Nick Diaz has mentioned fight induced anxiety and George St Pierre has done so about his OCD. Rose Namajuanas has spoken out about wanting to raise more mental health awareness stemming from her own past demons.
Even though it's hard not to be, don't be ashamed of whatever you might be suffering with. I only got one workout in and the rest of my days I tried to just survive. I gave my all and my best. As someone who goes through it, I need to tell you on the days where breathing takes all your strength, that's still enough. Going to work for 9-10 hours straight took every ounce out of me. I had nothing else to give and needed to nurse my mental state.
I needed to rest and not push myself. Emotional and mental exhaustion can leave your body on the floor.
By the time the weekend hit, I was feeling somewhat better. We ended up getting a new workout toy. The extent of my workout was trying it out. Figuring out how to get a better resistance. By the beginning of the week, I began to go stir crazy and knew I needed to get a sweat session in. I ended up getting a great workout in that left me drenched in sweat. Here we go again, getting ready to take on a weekend that promises a good bit of great outdoor fun and adventure.
Until next week,